I am sitting here at the desk for an overnight of studying. As usual, I warm up by procrastinating on the web, browsing this and that, ranting on my blog, etcetera.
Tonight my procrastination started with a long email to my older child. An appeal to help me help him to help someone he loves and through that to help me help a dear friend. The whole thing is complicated and sad and in a very sorry state. That’s life though. Never a straight line, never easy, and never makes sense.
Life is not always depressing. Yesterday was beautiful. It was super hectic, hell yes! Started the day at a graduation ceremony. Moving from primary to high school is a leapfrogging transitional time as it is. On top of that, the graduation ceremony made me teary. Being the lone parent is what I have almost always done, but yesterday the gravity of it really fell on me. No more pretending that the father was busy or whatnot. It simply was a matter of the child having just one parent. That aside, it was teary on a positive note too.
The mother pride in me swelled through my body and the best exit it could find was my tear duct. It was such joy to see him receive that award. A super sweet award at that. An award for his humble and caring attitude. Whoever heard of such an award at a school graduation? Some parents want their children to ace their class and be academically strong isn’t it? I don’t expect that of my children, for a variety of reasons. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like them to get super awesome grades. It just means, to me, it has been discipline and good manners that matters more than anything. So that award was really awesome. To realize that no matter how busy and an absent parent I have been because of my work schedule, my ethos are rubbing on him. It doesn’t mean I am taking the full credit for it all. The school is great at encouraging positive behavior. His year teacher is the best teacher anyone could ask for. It was great to be there to witness that.
Of course, I had to rush back to work, without having the luxury to stay behind and bask in the glory like many other parents were able to do. I couldn’t take the day off as I had an important presentation to deliver and the year coming to a close had put a lot of pressure on deadlines too.